Does the pressure from parents to attend gymnasium make children sick?

Many children are under a lot of pressure to get into a gymnasium and graduate from it. The pressure on the children is often exerted by their parents. This performance pressure is often perceived by the children as emotional stress, such as fear of failure.

In the following article, we will examine the causes of the gymnasium pressure and the associated stress of the parents on their children, as well as the question of whether the performance pressure of the parents on children has consequences for the children's health, in particular whether the gymnasium pressure can even make the children sick in the end.

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Table of contents

• Parents' pressure on children to attend gymnasium
   
• Children need recognition
   
• Pressure to perform can make you sick
   
• How to prevent pressure

Parents' pressure on children to attend gymnasium

When parents exert pressure on their children, for example by putting pressure on them to go to the gymnasium, the child experiences emotional stress. The pressure can be exerted directly, for example through shouting or even violence, or indirectly by creating feelings of guilt or conveying rigid expectations.

The paediatrician and developmental researcher Remo H. Largo writes in his book "Lernen geht anders: Bildung und Erziehung vom Kind her denken" (Learning is different: thinking about education and upbringing from the child's perspective) that many parents exert pressure on their children because the parents themselves are under pressure and are suffering from anxiety:

• Existence anxiety among many parents from all social strata
• Anxiety about losing status among parents who are academics if their child's social status declines
• Anxiety about the child missing out on opportunities if it doesn't go to the gymnasium

Many parents compare their own situation and development with that of their child. Well-educated parents usually benefit from high educational qualifications, such as a university degree. These parents therefore want to give their children the same opportunities, which starts with the expectation that the children will attend a gymnasium so that they can start a university degree directly after graduating from high school.

However, there are also cases where the parents have not achieved a high level of education and regret this, for example because of financial disadvantages or less social status. These parents often wish their children a better future and do everything they can to ensure that their own children achieve a high level of education, which also includes the expectation that the children will attend a gymnasium.

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Children need recognition

Children have various basic needs, one of which is recognition. However, if the parents signal too high expectations to their child, even without consciously exerting pressure, this parental attitude of expectation can already mean too much pressure for the child.

Even if the parents tell the child that they love it just the way it is, the child can feel that the parents are proud of it as soon as the child brings home good school grades. The child learns that it is also evaluated by its parents based on its school grades and feels this as a reward when it gets good grades.

As a result of the need for recognition, the child will try to continue to achieve good school grades. However, if the parents expect an academic education from the child, the child will subsequently exert pressure on itself to get into the grammar school and later to pass the Matura. This can lead to overstraining, especially in children for whom the grammar school path is not suitable.

Pressure to perform can make you sick

If parents expect too much from their child, the child becomes overburdened, both in terms of performance and emotionally. Too much pressure to perform can even be counterproductive, because not infrequently, the child's motivation to learn on their own initiative decreases under constant parental pressure. The child's self-confidence is also affected when they are unable to meet their parents' expectations.

The stress caused by the parents, or the parental pressure on the children, can even have a negative impact on the child's health. In addition to negative self-talk by the child ("I'll never be able to do it"), inner restlessness, anger, irritability, aggression, sleep disorders and burnout, the child may develop psychosomatic complaints such as tension, headaches, abdominal pain, dizziness, and nausea.

But also, for example, eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, anxiety disorders, sadness, social withdrawal, depression, or even self-injury, such as cutting or scratching the skin, can be consequences of too much pressure from parents on children, even to the point of suicide.

How to prevent pressure

The pressure to perform that parents put on their children should be minimised as much as possible, so that there are no health consequences for the child. The Helsana insurance company gives the following tips against performance pressure:

• openly discuss the topic of performance pressure with the child and listen to the child's concerns and support the child
• set realistic goals taking into account the child's age, abilities and interests
• recognise the child's efforts and progress, not just the results or successes
• create a supportive and stress-free learning atmosphere
• foster the child's individual strengths and interests; children should not be compared to other children
• teach children a healthy way of dealing with stress: e.g. by taking breaks, exercising or doing breathing exercises
• ensure a balanced relationship between school, leisure time, play and rest
• if the child is suffering from performance pressure, you can seek support from teachers, counselling services or other parents

Preparation course for the gymnasium to support your child in gymnasium preparation

The problem with putting pressure on children is that it does not in any way guarantee the desired career success, as paediatrician and developmental researcher Remo H. Largo says. To prevent children from becoming ill due to the pressure to attend a gymnasium, parents should signal to the children that it is not a catastrophe for life if they do not manage to get into the gymnasium, do not pass the probationary period, or do not get their Matura. Parents should give the child the feeling that they are accepted as they are, regardless of their academic success.

Incidentally, it is not only better for the child's health if they are not overburdened because they have chosen the wrong educational path. A less demanding education can also lead to the child being able to make much better use of their strengths during their education and later in their career.

Ideally, gymnasium preparation begins in 4th grade

Sources

https://www.lern-forum.ch/en/gymnasium-preparation-zurich

https://www.helsana.ch/de/blog/psyche/achtsamkeit/leistungsdruck.html

https://www.lern-forum.ch/en/gymnasium-preparation-zurich